How to find unconditional love in swipe right culture
Nia Bennett | Oct, 13 2019
Unconditional love is when you love someone with all your heart through thick and thin. By very definition, it is a way to love someone regardless of the situation, making it a truly rare, subliminally beautiful experience.
Unconditional love and the misconceptions
Despite being such an intensely rare experience, unconditional love is highly misunderstood. It is an excuse used by people to threaten their loved ones to stay in a relationship or something people tell themselves to stay in a bad, unhealthy or abusive relationship.
What unconditional love really means is to ‘love someone no matter what happens’ not ‘no matter how somebody treats you’. Unconditional love is loving somebody under any condition, for example, loving them despite their flaws, loving someone even on your bad days, loving someone with total devotion and not looking elsewhere when you are in a committed relationship, loving someone and not blaming them for any misunderstanding or blame when you fight.
Unconditional love is loving all the flaws and the imperfections which resides inside each of us, the thing that makes us human.
When two people get married, the fundamental message or sentiment shared is always about ‘to love someone through sickness and in health, when rich or poor’ and that is the essence of unconditional love in a romantic relationship. It is a promise to embrace and honour love through any the different phases of love. It is by no means an excuse to put up with abusive relationships or a cheating partner. Real love is about respect and the strength to plod through life with total commitment.
How to find unconditional love in a time where real love is hard to find
Many of us crave unconditional love to be given by very rarely would give this kind of intense love. The very minute we wonder why does my partner continue to behave like he used to: ‘ why is he/she messy, ‘why is he/she a nag’ etc. If you saw qualities in your partner and they have remained, you need to remind yourself those tiny quirks are part of your partner’s personality and accepting that they are giving them unconditional love.
Unconditional love in a relationship is making a joke and accepting the eccentricities without trying to change the quirky habits of your partner.
If you want to attract intense, honest love then you also need to take a good look at yourself and your expectations. A strong relationship is working through problems, for example, if you are struggling with money, if you dislike each other’s family or friend circle or annoying habits - it is about working through them together and that is the magical component that makes a strong, together ‘unconditional couple’
There will be shouting and tears but it will still be respectful to work towards the relationship, the goal will not be about winning an argument, it will be the wellbeing of the relationship and staying happy and committed.
To attract unconditional love, we as a generation must introspect and stop the ‘on to the next’ culture. Our swiping right mentality has made us forget that building a connection with a person requires effort. These days most people move on at the first sign of rockiness. Understand the difference between what is acceptable versus what is not.
If you are in a relationship when someone is not treating you right and hurts you, then accept that person is not for you and open yourself to finding someone who will fight for you just the way you will for them, and that it loving someone unconditionally.